Quote of the Day
The truth is that parents are not really interested in justice. They just want quiet.
Three mothers were sitting around comparing notes on their exemplary offspring. "There never was a daughter more devoted than my Alice," said Mrs. Davis with a sniff. "Every summer, she takes me to the Catskills for a week, and every winter, we spend a week at Delray Beach."
"That's nothing compared to what my Anna does for me," declared Mrs. Jones proudly. "Every winter, she treats me to two weeks in Miami, and in the summer, two weeks in the Hamptons, in my own private guest house."
Mrs. Smith sat back with a proud smile. "Nobody loves her mother like my Jackie does. Nobody."
"So what does she do?" asked the two women, turning to her.
"Three times a week, she gets into a cab, goes to the best psychiatrist in the city, and pays him a hundred and fifty dollars an hour - just to talk about me!"
One day our professor was discussing a particularly complicated concept. A pre-med student rudely interrupted to ask, "Why do we have to learn this stuff?"
"To save lives." the professor responded quickly and continued the lecture.
A few minutes later, the same student spoke up again. "So how does physics save lives?" he persisted.
"It keeps the ignoramuses out of medical school," replied the professor.
A driver pulled up beside a rundown farmhouse. He got out and knocked at the door. A very old woman answered the door, and he asked her for directions to Des Moines.
"Don't know," the woman said.
He got back in his car and pulled away. Then he heard voices. He looked in his rearview mirror and saw the woman and an equally old man waving for him to come back. So he made a U-turn and drove up to them.
"This is my husband," the old woman said. "He doesn't know how to get to Des Moines either."
The company sergent is briefing the recruits:
"For the next ten weeks the commanding officer will be your father, and I will be your mother. Incidentally we are not married, so you know what that makes you...".
