Jokes :)

☺Quote of the Day
Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all its pupils.

☺The good Father was warning his listeners about the suddenness of death. "Before another day is ended," he thundered, "somebody in this parish will die."
Seated in the front row was a little old Irishman who laughed out loud at this statement. Very angry, the priest said to the jovial old man, "What's so funny?"
"Well!" spoke up the oldster, "I'm not a member of this parish."

☺A farmer and his girlfriend were out for a stroll in the fields when they came across a cow and a calf rubbing noses.
"Boy," said the farmer, "that sure makes me want to
do the same."
"Well, go ahead," said his girlfriend. "It's your cow."

☺A young boy and his doting grandmother were walking along the sea shore when a huge wave appeared out of nowhere, sweeping the child out to sea. The horrified woman fell to her knees, raised her eyes to the heavens and begged the Lord to return her beloved grandson. And, another wave reared up and deposited the stunned child on the sand. The grandmother looked the boy over carefully. He was fine.
But still she stared up angrily toward the heavens. "When we came," she snapped indignantly, "he had a hat!"

☺As a blonde crawls out of her wrecked car, the local sheriff asks her what happened. The blonde began, "It was the strangest thing! I looked up and saw a tree, so I swerved to the right. Then I saw another tree, so I swerved to left. Then there was another tree, and another and another ..."
The sheriff thought for a minute and then said, "Mam ... I don't know how to tell you this, but the only thing even resembling a tree on this road for thirty miles is your air freshener."

☺Science has a language of its own which sometimes puzzles laymen. The word "obvious" is a case in point. A professor of physics, deriving some profound point of theory for the class, scribbled an equation on the board and said, "From this, it is obvious that we can proceed to write the following relationship..." and he scribbled a second and equally long equation on the board. Then he paused. He stared hard at the two equations and said, "Wait a minute, I may be wrong..."
He sat down and began to write at his desk furiously, crossing out and rewriting for five minutes while the class sat in absolute silence waiting for the verdict. Finally, the professor rose with an air of satisfaction and said, "Yes, I was right in the first place. It *IS* obvious that the second equation follows from the first."