Jokes :)

Quote of the Day
In America, only the successful writer is important, in France all writers are important, in England no writer is important, and in Australia you have to explain what a writer is.

His wife had been killed in an accident and the police were questioning Finnegan. "Did she say anything before she died?" asked the sergeant.
"She spoke without interruption for about forty years," said the Finnegan.

The DA stared at the jury, unable to believe the "not guilty" verdict he'd just heard. Bitterly, he asked, "What possible excuse could you have for acquitting this man?"
The foreman answered, "Insanity."
The attorney responded, still incredulous, "I could understand that. . .but - all twelve of you?"

One day a young man about the age of 25 was walking along the sidewalk in the park. Then all of a sudden he looks up from hearing the sound of an old man sobbing.
"What's wrong?" said the young man.
"Well it's nothing really." said the old man.
"It has to be something. Tell me about it" said the young man.
"Well, everyday after I wake up in the morning, me and my wife have wild sex. Then I leave for work" the old man said.
"That's not bad" the young man said.
"Well, when I get home from work, my wife has already finished making lunch for me and her. Then after lunch we have more wild sex." the old man said.
"That's not bad at all. There's no reason why you should be sobbing." said the young man.
"When we finish making love, I go back to work at my second job. Then i come home and by that time, my wife is finished making supper. Then we eat and have wild sex again through out the night." the old man said.
"If you are having sex all day, then why so glum?" the young man said.
Then the old man finally says why he is so glum, "I forgot where I live!"

Boss: "You got your hair cut on company time."
Susie: "It grew on company time."
"Not all that hair."
"I didn't get it all cut."